Reflection 1: Healing The God Wound - Part 1/2
Week One (March 9–15, 2025): Recognizing Our Image(s) of God & Healing Our Relationship with God
Blessed day dear pilgrims,
Today, we begin the first week of our structured Lent pilgrimage, focusing on the theme:
Recognizing our image(s) of God & healing our relationship with God.
Important notes:
I will use the words “God” and “The Divine” to refer to the unnamable, but please feel free to replace “God” with any term that resonates more deeply with you: Source, Love, Divine Consciousness, Sophia, Mother, or any other sacred name.
Even if you are a devout practitioner who feels no need for healing in your relationship with God, I still encourage you to read and engage with the Spiritual Assignment. I have gone through it myself and continue to do so regularly. Like any relationship, our connection with the Divine should never be taken for granted.
Just as deep friendships take time to form, our relationship with God is shaped by past experiences.
When we meet someone new, we rarely see them as they truly are. Instead, we perceive them through the lens of our memories, through past experiences of trust or betrayal, acceptance or rejection. If we have been hurt before, we may unconsciously expect to be hurt again. If we have been let down, we may hesitate to trust.
The same pattern often applies to our understanding of God. Many of us unknowingly carry distorted images of God, shaped by past teachings, disappointments, or cultural conditioning. Some may see God as distant, punitive, or unresponsive. These misconceptions act as barriers that prevent us from encountering the true and living God. Before we can deepen our relationship with the Divine, we must first recognize and clear away these distortions.
I refer to this as healing the "God wound." This term describes the deep emotional and spiritual injuries that affect our connection to the Sacred. Though not a formal theological concept, the "God wound" is widely discussed in spiritual and psychological circles, particularly in the context of religious trauma. It reflects the scars left by harmful religious experiences that shape how we relate to God. Instead of fostering love and trust, these wounds often instill fear, shame, or a sense of unworthiness.
One of the most significant and deeply ingrained wounds that hinders our relationship with God is religious trauma. Paradoxically, the very institutions meant to bring us closer to God have, at times, driven us away. This is the shadow side of religion, just as there is a shadow side to all things. Healing does not come from rejecting these realities but from integrating them. However, before integration can take place, we must first acknowledge and examine the wounds we carry.
On this first day, we turn our attention to religious trauma and healing the God wound. The purpose of this reflection is not to question faith itself, but to recognize the harm that certain religious environments, teachings, and structures have caused. Awareness is the first step in healing.
As we begin this journey together, may we hold space for our wounds and trust that as we bring them into the light, healing and renewal are possible.
Religion, Spirituality, and the Path to a Deeper Relationship with God
Before we delve into religious trauma, it is essential to first reflect on the nature of religion itself.
At its core, religion is a structured system of beliefs, practices, and rituals centered on the sacred or divine. It provides a framework for understanding the world, our purpose within it, and our relationship with the transcendent. Religion often offers a sense of community, moral guidance, and shared traditions that help people connect with God.
Today, many people distinguish between religion and spirituality, often due to experiences of rigidity or institutional failures. Spirituality, in contrast, is a deeply personal and inner experience of the sacred that is not necessarily tied to religious institutions. While religion provides structure, spirituality allows individuals to explore their connection with the Divine in ways that feel more authentic and personal. The two are not mutually exclusive. When integrated harmoniously, religion offers depth, sacred teachings, and communal wisdom, while spirituality fosters a direct, lived experience of the sacred. Together, they form a holistic approach to faith.
Mysticism represents the deepest expression of this integration. It is the heart of all spiritual traditions and the space where religious doctrine dissolves into direct experience. Mystics are those who seek not just to know about God but to know God through intimate union. Their path transcends belief systems and calls for an experiential encounter with the Divine beyond words, concepts, or rituals. Every major religious tradition has produced mystics, figures like Rumi, Meister Eckhart, St. John of the Cross, Rabia al-Adawiyya, Julian of Norwich, and many others.
I personally relate to all: religion, spirituality, and mysticism.
I cherish the fluidity of spirituality, which allows me to explore my connection with the Divine in a profoundly personal way. At the same time, I greatly value the spiritual heritage that religions offer. I appreciate the Sacred Scriptures, the teachings and experiences of spiritual masters, and the sense of community created through shared rituals. I have always been fascinated by the enlightened masters who have walked this earth. In my experience, each of them was firmly rooted in a specific faith tradition, and I aim to emulate their journey. This led me to embrace a tradition that speaks most to my being, allowing me to explore its wisdom more fully and strengthen my relationship with God.
The mystical path has been central to my own journey. Mysticism has taught me that the true essence of religion is not found in external structures alone, but in the depths of the soul’s longing for the Divine. It is a call to move beyond belief into lived transformation. This perspective shapes the way I will be sharing and guiding you during this pilgrimage.
The Dual Role of Religion
Throughout history, religion has played a dual role in human experience.
At its best, it has been a source of profound compassion, social justice, and intellectual advancement. Many of the world’s greatest changemakers, such as Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Thích Nhất Hạnh, Desmond Tutu, and the Dalai Lama, were deeply rooted in religious traditions. Their lives testify to the transformative power of faith when it is guided by love, wisdom, and justice. These individuals did not passively accept their religious traditions. Instead, they engaged with them actively, discerning what was life-giving while challenging what was harmful or outdated. Their faith was not blind adherence but a living, evolving encounter with the Divine.
At the same time, religion has also been misused as a tool for oppression, violence, and control. Many have suffered harm within religious institutions, leading to disillusionment and a painful disconnection from their faith. When institutionalized religion loses its foundation in love and true spiritual depth, it can become rigid, dogmatic, and alienating.
This paradox, in which both light and shadow coexist within religious traditions, does not call us to reject religion altogether. Instead, it invites us to reclaim the wisdom embedded within these traditions in a way that nurtures a true and healing relationship with God.
Deep discernment is needed when engaging with religious traditions.
Not everything handed down through religious institutions is inherently sacred. Some teachings reflect divine truth, while others are shaped by historical, cultural, or political contexts that may no longer serve the flourishing of the human soul. The invitation is neither to blindly follow nor to entirely reject, but to engage with faith in a way that leads to transformation rather than stagnation.
A Tradition of Sacred Wisdom
At Divine Indwelling, we believe in the power of Heirloom Sacred Wisdom traditions, teachings passed down through generations that hold the potential to Heal, Inspire, and Transform. These traditions contain timeless truths that remain especially vital in today’s challenging times. Our goal is not to abandon religion but to engage with it in a way that fosters wholeness, authenticity, and spiritual renewal.
Since Lent is a Christian practice, this pilgrimage will primarily focus on Christianity and its Sacred Wisdom. We will draw from its rich spiritual heritage to deepen our relationship with God. Christianity, at its heart, is not about rigid legalism but about profound love and inner transformation. Jesus himself was a radical teacher who challenged religious authorities and societal norms. He constantly called people into a deeper and more authentic relationship with God.
What is Religious Trauma?
For many, religion itself becomes a trigger, provoking intense anger, grief, or a sense of betrayal. Encounters with religious symbols, scriptures, or discussions of faith may lead to anxiety, panic, or even a visceral bodily reaction, such as nausea, shaking, or an instinctive urge to withdraw. These responses are often rooted in past experiences of coercion, fear, or harm within religious settings.
Beyond personal experiences, many are also traumatized by what religions have done (and still do!) in the world. The long history of religiously sanctioned violence, such as the Crusades, inquisitions, colonial missionary abuses, sexual abuse and pedophilia, and holy wars, has left deep scars on collective consciousness. The suppression of indigenous spiritualities, the forced conversions, and the cultural erasure carried out in the name of religion continue to have generational repercussions. Systemic oppression, including the subjugation of women, LGBTQ+ discrimination, and the defense of slavery and apartheid, has been justified by religious authorities throughout history.
For many, the pain caused by religious institutions leads to a complete rejection of religion itself. The association between faith and trauma can be so strong that any form of religious engagement feels unsafe or oppressive. People often walk away not just from the institution that harmed them, but from the entire spiritual tradition, fearing that everything within it is tainted. This rejection is not just personal but also moral, as many struggle to reconcile the Sacred with the historical and ongoing injustices perpetuated in its name.
This response is completely understandable. It is a natural act of self-protection to distance oneself from sources of harm. Healing from religious trauma does not necessarily mean returning to religion, but it does mean giving oneself permission to rediscover the Divine beyond the wounds inflicted in its name.
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Although the extra resources I am sharing are focused on Christianity, the same can be said for any religion.
Click: What is religious trauma?
Click: Healing Religious Trauma with Dr. Diane Langberg (some of the insights Dr Langberg shares are also very relevant for New Age/Spiritual movements and even business!)
Healing the god wound
Healing from the God wound is a deeply personal journey, touching the very core of our relationship with the Divine, the universe, and ourselves.
Religious trauma is one expression of this wound, but the God wound runs deeper. It is the rupture that occurs when one's image of God has been distorted by fear, shame, or abandonment. It manifests as feelings of spiritual disconnection, existential loneliness, or the belief that one is unworthy of love, grace, or divine presence. This wound is often shaped by rigid religious teachings, cultural conditioning, or painful life experiences that make it difficult to trust in a benevolent and loving source of existence.
Even for the most devout, this wound can exist in subtle ways. A deep relationship with God does not necessarily mean there is no pain left to heal. Sometimes, unexamined beliefs, hidden fears, or unresolved disappointments create small fractures in our faith, cracks so familiar that we do not even notice them. Perhaps there is a lingering doubt about being truly seen and loved, an unconscious fear of divine punishment, or a habit of striving to “earn” grace rather than resting in it.
No matter where we are on our faith journey, we carry imprints of the past that shape how we relate to the Divine. Healing is not just for those who feel estranged from God, but also for those who long to deepen their connection. It is an invitation to gently explore the unseen corners of our hearts, to recognize where trust has been eroded, and to allow divine love to reach places we may not have realized needed healing.
Our relationship with God, like any meaningful relationship, is ever-evolving. It deserves our attention, care, and the courage to seek wholeness, even in the smallest, most hidden places.
The key steps to healing the God wound
1. Recognizing and validating the wound
The first step is acknowledging that the God wound is real and that your pain is valid. Many who carry this wound struggle with self-blame, believing they are "not faithful enough," "not spiritual enough," or that their struggles are a sign of personal failure. Others may feel distant from God but not understand why, or they may sense a subtle resistance in their spiritual life. Instead of dismissing these feelings, it is important to recognize that wounds, whether deep or subtle, are often shaped by religious conditioning, societal messages, or personal experiences of suffering and loss. Validating your own experience allows space for deep healing to begin.
2. Deconstructing distorted images of God
One of the most important aspects of healing is unlearning toxic and fear-based concepts of the Divine. Many have internalized a vision of God as authoritarian, wrathful, or conditionally loving, leading to a faith based on fear rather than trust. Healing involves deconstructing these harmful beliefs and replacing them with a more expansive, life-affirming understanding of the sacred. Even those who feel close to God may unconsciously hold limiting beliefs that prevent them from experiencing the fullness of divine love. This step is about gently unlearning these distortions and embracing a vision of the Divine that is expansive, life-giving, and deeply personal. This may involve studying different spiritual traditions, engaging with mystical perspectives, exploring philosophy and psychology, or simply listening to your own inner wisdom. The goal is not to reject spirituality but to reclaim a vision of the Divine that is loving, liberating, and aligned with your deepest truth.
3. Reclaiming autonomy and inner spiritual authority
A mature relationship with God is built on trust, not fear. Healing the God wound requires shifting from externalized, institutional control to an inner, embodied spirituality. Many who have experienced religious trauma were taught to distrust themselves and submit entirely to external religious authorities. This often leads to a sense of disempowerment and an inability to make spiritual decisions without fear. Healing means reclaiming personal spiritual authority, learning to discern truth from within, setting boundaries where needed, and allowing yourself to engage with spiritual practices in a way that nourishes rather than constrains. This does not mean rejecting tradition but approaching it with openness and discernment, knowing that God speaks directly to your heart.
4. Addressing the emotional and physiological impact
The God wound is not just intellectual, it is deeply emotional and even physiological. Some experience trauma responses when encountering religious language or symbols, while others feel a lingering sense of anxiety, guilt, or spiritual insecurity without knowing why. Even those who have a strong faith may notice moments of unease, grief, or resistance in their relationship with God. Healing involves working through these responses, tending to them with compassion through practices such as therapy, meditation, prayer, or somatic healing, or gentle re-engagement with spirituality in ways that feel safe and affirming.
5. Practicing self-compassion and allowing the healing process to unfold
Healing is not a linear journey. There will be moments of clarity and moments of doubt, times of deep connection and times of resistance. Many who carry the God wound have internalized perfectionism, believing they must “earn” healing or divine love. It is essential to release these burdens and allow yourself to heal at your own pace. Wherever you are in your spiritual journey, allow yourself to move at your own rhythm. Be patient and kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve, to ask hard questions, and to rediscover faith in a way that is not forced but freely chosen.
6. Rediscovering a loving, expansive spirituality
Healing the God wound is not about returning to the same rigid structures that caused harm. It is about finding a spiritual path that nurtures wholeness, love, and deep connection. For some, this may mean reconnecting with their faith tradition in a renewed and life-giving way. For others, it may involve exploring mystical, contemplative, or interspiritual paths that honors divine presence beyond institutional religion. The goal is not to conform to external expectations but to cultivate a relationship with God that is freeing, life-giving, and deeply personal.
Key Steps in Healing from Religious Trauma:
Recognizing and validating the wound
Acknowledge that the God wound is real and that your pain is valid, understanding that it stems from external conditioning rather than personal failure.Deconstructing distorted images of God
Unlearn fear-based and toxic views of God, replacing them with a more loving, liberating, and expansive understanding of the Sacred.Reclaiming autonomy and inner spiritual authority
Shift from external religious control to an inner spirituality that honors your personal intuition, boundaries, and authentic connection with the Divine.Addressing the emotional and physiological impact
Recognize trauma responses related to religious experiences and engage in healing practices to process these reactions safely.Practicing self-compassion and allowing the healing process to unfold
Healing takes time; be patient and kind to yourself, allowing space for both progress and setbacks as you rediscover spirituality on your own terms.Rediscovering a loving, expansive spirituality
Move beyond rigid religious structures to embrace a spiritual path that fosters love, connection, and freedom, whether within or beyond traditional faith traditions.
I will stop here for now so you can digest all the readings and maybe explore some of the extra resources. The Spiritual Assignment will be in the next message.
Enjoy the read and feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions.
