Reflection 13: Judas and the Shadow Self
Blessed Holy Wednesday, dear Pilgrims,
After 55 days of walking together through this sacred season (we began on February 21st, 2025), I want to honor the depth of your commitment, your reflections, and the inner shifts that have been unfolding along the way. You’ve been showing up with courage and sincerity, and now we find ourselves in the final stretch, these potent, holy days that lead us to the cross… and into the mystery of resurrection.
Today, on Holy Wednesday, we reflect on a major turning point in the journey of Jesus: the betrayal by Judas Iscariot. This act seals the course of what is to come, setting into motion the final unfolding of Jesus’s earthly path.
To guide us deeper today, I want to introduce you to Emma Curtis Hopkins (1849–1925), a remarkable mystic and spiritual teacher from the early 20th century. Known as the “Teacher of Teachers,” she was a leading voice in the New Thought Movement, which emphasized the power of thought, a positive mental attitude, and the divine nature within each person.
Emma developed a unique system of metaphysical Christianity, drawing from Scripture, mysticism, ancient wisdom traditions, and deep personal communion with the Divine. She saw Christ not just as Jesus, but as a universal divine principle, the awakened God-consciousness within each of us.
Her teachings helped shape a mystical, empowering form of Christianity centered on the indwelling divinity, the power of affirmative prayer, and the path of spiritual healing. The most radiant aspects of Emma Curtis Hopkins’ legacy is her devotion to Mystical Christianity, where scripture becomes a mirror for the soul rather than a record of external events. In her view, the Bible is a symbolic roadmap of the soul’s journey toward full divine realization. She taught that:
Every figure and event in Scripture mirrors something within us.
Jesus showed us what’s possible when we awaken to the Christ within, not as an exception, but as an example.
God is present in all things, and we are never separate from that presence. Aligning with this Divine Mind dissolves lack, illness, fear, and limitation. She wrote: “The highest form of prayer is to know God as the only reality.” “There is nothing to heal but the belief in separation from God.”
The Divine Feminine is an essential aspect of the Christ energy, equally vital as the masculine.
Today, we’ll be using this Mystical Christianity framework to meditate on the events of Holy Wednesday.
With love always,
Swaady
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1. The Bible as a Metaphysical Text
Emma taught that the Bible’s stories, parables, and characters represent archetypal movements of consciousness. Each figure—Moses, Mary, Jesus, Judas—is not just historical but internal. They symbolize aspects of our own inner drama as we awaken from separation to union with God.
For example, the Red Sea is not just a body of water, it is the crossing from fear to faith. Egypt is the land of bondage to old thought. Jesus' resurrection is the rising of the divine self within you.
2. Christ as Inner Reality
Emma declared:
“Christ is the spiritual man—your true self—awakening to its divine origin.”
This Christ is the divine pattern buried in every soul, waiting to be remembered, claimed, and lived.
She often called this process "putting on the mind of Christ" meaning: thinking, perceiving, and creating from divine consciousness. It’s not about worshiping Christ from afar, but about embodying Christ from within.
3. Inner Transformation Over Outer Salvation
Emma turned the gaze inward, not to sin and punishment, but to healing, empowerment, and divine remembrance.
She taught that spiritual liberation is not something you earn or plead for, it’s your inheritance.“There is nothing to save but the belief that you are separate from God.”
Mystical Christianity, in her hands, became a bold, beautiful affirmation of wholeness.
4. The Divine Feminine and Mary as Mystic Guide
Emma had a deep reverence for the Divine Feminine, often embodied in Mary. To her, Mary represented spiritual receptivity, the womb of divine ideas, and the sacred 'Yes' that gives birth to the Christ in consciousness.
She reclaimed Mary as a spiritual initiator, a feminine Christ archetype in her own right.
5. Revelation as a Living Event
Scripture was alive for Emma. Each verse held coded truths, meant to ignite consciousness. The Book of Revelation, for example, was seen not as a future apocalypse but as the soul’s awakening, filled with spiritual symbols of purification, initiation, and divine union.
In Essence:
Emma's Mystical Christianity invites you to:
Read the Bible as your own soul’s story
Awaken the Christ within you
Recognize God as the only Presence and Power
Live from a consciousness of divine wholeness and oneness
The Betrayal of Christ by Giotto di Bondone, 1305
“Then Judas Iscariot, one of the Twelve, went to the chief priests to betray Jesus to them. They were delighted to hear this and promised to give him money. So he watched for an opportunity to hand him over.”
“Judas, full of chagrin, hurried back to Jerusalem that night. I saw him, torn by envy and avarice, running in the darkness over Mount Olivet, and it seemed as if a sinister glare surrounded him, as if the devil were lighting his steps. He hurried to the house of Caiaphas, and spoke a few words at the door. He could not stay long in anyone place. Thence he ran to the house of John Mark. The disciples were wont to lodge there, so Judas pretended that he had come from Bethania for that purpose. This was the first definite step in his treacherous course.”
The story:
Judas Iscariot was one of the twelve disciples chosen by Jesus (Matthew 10:1–4; Mark 3:13–19; Luke 6:12–16). He held a trusted position within the group, managing the money bag (John 12:6). Yet, John’s Gospel also tells us that Judas would steal from the common fund, hinting at deeper flaws in his character.
Six days before Passover, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Lazarus, where Mary anointed his feet with costly perfume (John 12:1–8; Matthew 26:6–13; Mark 14:3–9). Judas objected to this act, feigning concern for the poor.
After the anointing, Judas goes to the chief priests to offer them Jesus. Luke explicitly notes that “Satan entered Judas,” emphasizing the spiritual dimension of this betrayal (Luke 22:3).
Later that night, after Jesus prays in Gethsemane, Judas arrives with a crowd armed with swords and clubs sent by the chief priests. He approaches Jesus and says, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kisses him. Jesus replies: “Friend, do what you came for.” (Matthew 26:50) and “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” (Luke 22:48). Jesus is arrested.
In the Gospel of Mark, Judas goes to the chief priests and agrees to hand Jesus over for thirty pieces of silver. This silver represents more than money. It symbolizes the small rewards we accept in exchange for something far greater. In this act, Judas betrays not only Jesus but also something within himself. He abandons his deeper knowing and the possibility of inner transformation.
Mystical Christianity understands every Gospel figure as a reflection of the inner landscape of the soul. Judas represents the shadow, the inner saboteur that acts from fear, attachment, or a desire for control. We all have a “Judas” within us, those parts that doubt our worth, sabotage our dreams, delay our healing, or cling to fear when love is asking for surrender. Our inner Judas shows up in moments when the soul is invited into trust but chooses protection. He appears when we trade integrity for security, or when we resist surrender because it feels too uncertain.
Carl Jung described the shadow as the parts of ourselves we hide or reject, the traits we find shameful, threatening, or uncomfortable. It contains the parts of ourselves that we judge as "bad" or "unworthy." This includes anger, pride, fear, jealousy, and even unmet needs for love or recognition. These hidden parts are not inherently evil or wrong, they are natural parts of our human experience. They are just unintegrated. They shape our decisions in subtle ways, often outside our awareness.
Judas embodies this inner fragmentation. His actions are not simply betrayal, they reveal unresolved longing, disappointment, fear, and the pain of a dream deferred. He had followed Jesus, hoping perhaps for a kingdom that looked different from what was unfolding. When the vision collapsed, he tried to assert control. In the choice to betray, Judas’s shadow is not an external force; it is his own unresolved fears, his own need for validation, his own desire for power over others. His decision was shaped by inner forces he did not fully recognize, and they are the same forces that we each face in our own lives, often without realizing it.
It’s easy to vilify Judas or to see him only as a "traitor," but this is an oversimplification of his role in the grand spiritual narrative. He, like us, is a complex figure, struggling with inner forces that led him astray. We all experience moments like this. Times when we ignore our deeper truth to maintain an illusion of safety. Times when we silence our soul’s voice for the sake of approval, comfort, or habit. The shadow doesn’t always show up through dramatic failure, it often speaks through subtle patterns: people-pleasing, avoidance, self-criticism, control, perfectionism, or withdrawal. These patterns emerge when love begins to ask more of us than we are ready to give.
When we are not aware of our shadow, we project it outward. We blame others, idealize or demonize them, and act unconsciously. Instead of rejecting or condemning our shadow, this interpretation invites us to befriend the betrayer within. To recognize that:
The shadow is not trying to destroy us.
It’s protecting a version of us that is dying so the soul can be reborn.
The parts that betray us are often the ones that need the most love. When we turn toward them with compassion, we transform judgment into insight, and resistance into release. Jesus knew Judas would betray him. Yet he shared bread with him. Washed his feet. Called him friend. Christ’s compassion for Judas becomes a mirror for how we might learn to hold our own inner failings. And it invites us to practice the same love:
Toward the parts of ourselves we’ve judged or exiled.
Toward those who seem to have betrayed us, but in truth helped midwife our transformation.
Jung taught that transformation begins when we make the unconscious conscious. The work of healing is not about eliminating the shadow but meeting it with awareness, to redeem it. Jung called this “shadow integration.” Mystical Christianity calls it “transfiguration”. This is the essence of shadow work, the process of becoming conscious of those aspects of ourselves that we have denied or disowned. When we acknowledge the fear behind control, the grief behind anger, or the longing behind judgment, we begin to reclaim parts of ourselves that were pushed into exile. This integration is the path toward wholeness.
Judas is not just a villain, but the hidden initiator. He unknowingly fulfills prophecy, not just scriptural prophecy, but the inner law of transformation: The self must be broken open for the true Self to emerge. Just as the seed must split for the sprout to rise, the betrayal must occur for the Divine Self to be revealed. Thus, Judas becomes a symbol of the necessary friction that gives birth to freedom.
Life brings betrayals. People we trust hurt us. Plans collapse. Roles we identified with dissolve. Such moments are not failures, they are thresholds. Without Judas, there is no Cross. Without the Cross, no Resurrection. The betrayal doesn’t end the story. It opens the soul to a new way of being. The betrayal sets the transformation in motion.
We become whole not by avoiding the Judas within, but by letting Christ love and integrate him.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Judas’ Tragic End: The Consequences of an Unacknowledged Shadow
Judas’s final moments reveal the devastating cost of avoiding the inner work of integration. After the betrayal, he is struck by the weight of what he has done. Overwhelmed by guilt, he tries to undo it, returning the thirty pieces of silver and confessing that he has sinned. But remorse alone is not enough to lead him back to healing. Instead of seeking reconciliation or opening himself to forgiveness, he falls into despair. Unable to hold the pain or imagine the possibility of redemption, Judas takes his own life (Matthew 27:3–5).
His end is not just a tragedy of action, but of isolation. It shows what can happen when the shadow is not met with compassion or brought into the light. Without integration, the burden becomes too heavy. Shame closes the heart, and the path back seems impossible.
This moment does not condemn Judas. It invites us to consider how essential it is to face our inner darkness with courage, honesty, and grace. What we do not transform within us may eventually destroy us from the inside out, because we have not yet learned to hold our brokenness with love.
Spiritual assignment: shadow work
Notice Your Triggers
One of the clearest ways the shadow reveals itself is through emotional triggers:
Who irritates or angers you?
What behaviors in others feel intolerable or unbearable?
What are you defensive about?
Ask: What does this reaction say about something unresolved in me?
2. Reflect Without Judgment
When do I act out of alignment with my deeper values?
What parts of myself do I try to hide or deny?
What do I fear others would see if they really knew me?
Let your answers emerge honestly. Write without editing or justifying.
3. Explore Childhood Roots
Much of the shadow forms in childhood, when certain traits (sensitivity, anger, ambition, independence) were judged, punished, or ignored. Ask yourself:
What qualities did I learn were “unacceptable” growing up?
Who did I have to be in order to feel safe, loved, or accepted?
These disowned parts often hold hidden gifts.
4. Name Your Patterns
Look for repeated patterns in relationships, decisions, or emotional cycles. The shadow often drives: Self-sabotage, people-pleasing or perfectionism, addictive behaviors, avoidance of intimacy or conflict, etc.
Seeing the pattern is the beginning of shifting it.
5. Dialogue with the Shadow
Give voice to the part of you that is angry, afraid, jealous, controlling, or ashamed. Ask:
What do you need?
What are you trying to protect me from?
What are you afraid will happen if I truly let go?
Often the shadow is protecting an old wound and wants to be seen and heard, not punished.
6. Practice Radical Compassion
Shadow work is not about fixing or fighting yourself. It’s about offering compassion to what has been cast aside. Say to your shadow:
“You belong. I see you. You’ve helped me survive. And now, I invite you into the light.”
This is integration, where healing begins.
